Sunday, February 23, 2014

25 Synonyms for 'Pussy Riot,' for news presenters who'd really rather not to say 'pussy' on-air

25 Synonyms for 'Pussy Riot,' for news presenters who'd really rather not to say 'pussy' on-air:




This is how I imagine Wolf Blitzer's facial expression must have been the first time he realized he had to read the words "Pussy Riot" off the teleprompter on live TV.



Pussy Riot. Image: Denis Bochkarev
The outlaw Russian activist organization Pussy Riot reportedly chose their name as a clever troll: one of the group's members said she thought it'd be a way to provide English-speakers following their story with a little fun. And she was right. Every time I see Wolf Blitzer say "Pussy Riot," or hear a dry NPR anchor's voice intone those two words, I think I'm going to die laughing.

I asked Twitter to help me come up with some more "polite" synonyms for news anchors who wince when they have to say "pussy." Here's the list, some of which are my own, and some of which you'll have to take up with them.

• Cuntastrophe
• Vagina Riot
• Cooter Commotion
• Ladybits Rampage
• Vajayjay Melee
• Birth Canal Brouhaha
• Hoo-hah Kerfuffle
• Violencia del Vulva
• Frontbottom Fracas
• Labial Lawlessness
• Rosebud Rumble
• Beefdrape Diatribe
• Bearded Clam Shenanigans
• Cooch Confrontation
• Down There Donnybrook
• Labia Fray-bia
• Front-butt Fiasco
• Munch Bunch
• Apocalips
• Moggie Mayhem
• Nookie Disagreement
• honeypot havoc
• Muffin scuffling
• Fanny Free-for-all
• Tumult Near Mons Pubis (*also a great title for a post-apocalypic sci-fi erotic novel)

(Thanks, everyone: @Beschizza, @scottpierce_au, @orelhoes, @arfisk, @bonniegrrl, @KingDouyeAlfred, @KellySGerner, @birdsnfrogs, @cuadcosgrove, @capnmarrrrk, @beebigelow, @iD4RO, @BarrSteve, @emraeoh, @jesusdiaz, @ginalou, @janice_e, @gwynskid, @laurasbadideas, @nieljacoby, @proeat, @gargreguan, @dkesserich, @lekevbo)

    














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